What Once Was
by Youkai no Hikaru
Summary: Kagome’s back in Tokyo after she moved to Kyoto to get “away”. But she’s different now. She’s a cold heartless person who could care less! Will her past always haunt her? Or will someone save her from the person she’s become?sesskag
1. Prologue

A/N: Hey everyone this is my 2nd fic, and the story's idea just won't go away, so I'll just type it up for the holidays. I'm not sure about what pairing to do so I hope all the people who read this, will review and vote for either Inu/kag or sess/kag. But I'm sort of leaning towards the Sess/Kag side, but I'll let my readers vote! Please review!

Summary: Kagome's back in Tokyo after she moved to Kyoto to get "away". But she's different now. She's a cold heartless person who could care less! Will her past always haunt her? Or will someone save her from the person she's become?

Chapter 1: Prologue

Kagome walked down the snowy sidewalk. Her sapphire eyes a deep shade of blue. Kagome looked at the Mothers and children who came out of the toy store, with loads of bags. Children were making snowmen out in the park, and having snowball fights. Colored lights decorated houses upon houses.

It would soon be Christmas.

Her face turned into disgust. Christmas was a foolish holiday, full of pointless happiness that would soon disappear in a matter of hours. Kagome saw a little kid about seven years that would soon attempt to hit her with a snowball. She sidestepped it and continued walking. A little girl looked up from where she was making a snow angel. She stared at Kagome with wide eyes.

Kagome's face turned impassive. She glared at the girl and walked on.

She remembered when she used to look forward to Christmas. Her mom would always have hot cocoa and warm cookies ready for her when she got home from school. Under the Christmas tree would be filled with presents with mysterious gifts inside. Her little brother Sota would always wish for a dog, instead of the lazy cat Buyo (a/n: is that how you spell it?). Dad had always skipped work just to be with her and her family on Christmas day.

One Christmas had ruined it all. Everything collapsed: her family, her friends, everything she held dear.

Kagome gazed at all the fresh baked goods in the bakery. All the bags that the parents and children carried. She stared at the snowmen, the trees, the presents in the frosted windows, the cheerfulness. She hated it all. Kagome couldn't understand why everyone would waste their time, spending money just to spoil kids. All children should know at an early age that life if never fair or easy, just like Christmas, Kagome thought.

Christmas should never have this kind of meaning: Hopeless cheer, gifts that bribe children into being good. It was all fake. Kagome sighed to herself. Before she went into the dojo, she finally admitted something to herself.

She hated the thought of Christmas, yes, she truly did. She hated the thought of everyone being happy. She hated how everyone would always be comfortable in his or her houses. She hated how everyone would be able to get presents. She hated the very thought of family gatherings itself.

Yes, she hated it all.

But truthfully, she envied them.

A/N: well that's it for the first chappy! I know it's short, but it's a PROLOGUE! They don't need to be long. Anyway please review and vote for the pairing you want: sess/kag or inu/kag! NO FLAMES PLEASE!! Thank you!


	2. To Escape

A/N: Here's the second chapter, I tried to make it long, and not so boring. I think I'll introduce Sesshomaru and Inuyasha in this chapter. Thanks for all the wonderful reviews! I'll keep the polls open for a few more chapters and see what the pairing will be, but so far Inu/Kag pairing is winning. So all the fans of sess/kag should vote and try to beat the inu/kag voters.

Inu/Kag voters: (chanting) Inu/Kag! Inu/Kag! Inu/Kag! Inu/Kag!

Sess/Kag voters: crickets chirping

Actually, you know what? I'll make it a Sess/Kag story unless you can change my mind otherwise.

Well anyway, on with the story!

Chapter 2: To Escape

Kagome sidestepped the katana that was aiming for her, and blocked the swing with her own katana. It was like this everyday, and for two weeks her kendo classes would be going over defenses. She sighed. 'I need to get out of this class, it's always the same.' Kagome bowed to the sensei asking to be excused (a/n: that pretty much means to go out of the dojo.)

She left the dojo, and headed on to the local shrine. There was an archery field, and she would go there just to "practice." Just exactly how she tried to "stay fit" at school, by joining the track and field team, archery and kendo clubs, and swimming occasionally when it was hot.

Everyone couldn't understand why and how Kagome could do all these things, actually go to the meetings and practices, and still be able to keep up her grades above an "A-" and do homework. Kagome made sure that no one would find out why, NO one.

The truth was she wanted to escape and run away from her past. The same past that contained a sorrowful story. People at school wouldn't understand what she was going through, and why she did all these activities. No, Kagome thought, 'no one will get close to me. I swore that a long time ago, when…'

Kagome shook her head. She would not think about that day anymore. Kagome picked up a longbow and tested its balance. She decided it was all right and took a quiver of arrows. When Kagome walked to the field, She started about 15 feet away, and slowly backed up as each arrow hit the target. When the quiver was empty, she put it and her bow away and walked to school. There was an emergency meeting that day, for some reason.

Kagome was deep in her thoughts and didn't notice someone in front of her, and bumped into that person.

"Watch where you're going," said a voice. (A/n: think about the personalities of either Sess or Inu 'cause I'm not telling who said that, but I think its obvious).

Kagome stared at the person with a cold façade, " You can not tell me what to do." Kagome walked past the silver-haired and amber-eyed stranger.

" Watch your mouth as well, human," muttered the stranger.

The captain of the track team went in front of the team.

" Okay so there are some new students coming to school on Monday, which is tomorrow as you all know, and they would like to join the team. So please welcome them," said Michiru. (Do I really need to describe the people?)

There was a quick applause before Michiru introduced the newcomers.

" Please welcome Sesshomaru and Inuyasha Takashi." There was enthusiastic applause when the Takashi brothers walked out.

On the outside, Kagome looked indifferent, but in the inside she was shocked. "Hey that's the same guy I bumped into. He has a brother?"

Kagome snapped back to reality when Michiru explained how the Takashi brothers would try out.

" Okay, so Sesshomaru and Inuyasha will both run the mile at the same time, but we need the fastest person in the team to race with them," at this point Michiru got kind of nervous. " So, um… Kagome? Can you race against them?"

Kagome rolled her eyes, and walked down to the track.

' So her name's Kagome, hn. She looks pretty clumsy to me, to be the fastest person on the track team,' thought the same person who bumped into Kagome.

Everybody took their places on the track and waited for the horn to blow. The horn sounded. And the person in the lead was, Inuyasha who decided to sprint the first lap. Sesshomaru was second, but was quickly gaining speed. By the third lap, Kagome was nowhere to be seen, but near the end everyone spotted her. She was neck-and-neck with a silver blur and another silver blur right behind them. The winner was…

A/n: okay I need another vote who will win… I was thinking Kagome 'cuz you know, we need a little girl power here and there too you know…

I still hope you guys can somehow miraculously change my mind about the pairing, and if u want sess/kag, show the love! Haha.


	3. Stay Away From Me

A/n: sorry it took so long to write the next chapter, I had writer's block and had a HUGE exam. So the winner was…. You'll see

Last time:

By the third lap, Kagome was nowhere to be seen, but near the end everyone spotted her. She was neck-and-neck with a silver blur and another silver blur right behind them. The winner was…

Chapter 2: Stay Away From Me

The winner was…Kagome. Although the race was a close one and everyone expected Kagome to lose, it was still a surprise that Kagome won. But they weren't the only one.

"How did that inferior human beat me? No one can beat a demon such as I. Impossible, yet she is living proof that she, a mere human, defeated I, Sesshomaru, in a race," Sesshomaru thought.

He remembered everything. Inuyasha foolishly sprinted the first lap, which of course made him last in the end. What was interesting was that, he never lapped the human girl. By the third lap, he could hear pants behind him, and quickly gaining. Sesshomaru sped up, yet she still caught up. In the end, she had beaten him by a mere second. Sesshomaru looked around, but the girl was nowhere to be seen.

He sniffed the air for her scent, but could find it. Sesshomaru saw movement at the corner of his eye, and saw the only human that had beaten him, ever.

Kagome stopped. She had hidden her scent, at the moment she saw them, Kagome knew the two new students were demons. At least, one was, the other was a hanyou. It was pathetic really. The races should never mix. It would be a disgrace to both species. Besides, a hanyou would never truly belong to the world.

It was when Kagome snapped out of her thoughts, did she realize that she was being followed. Kagome quickened her pace, and walked faster toward a shrine where she always practiced. She hid behind a column. When Kagome felt the presence close in to range, she sent a ball of sacred energy toward the aura. She heard a thump and came out of her hiding place.

There was Sesshomaru, lying on the ground in a state of shock, but he quickly recovered.

"Why are you following me?" Kagome asked harshly, prepared to attack again incase she felt a threat from Sesshomaru.

"A human, no less a wench like you should be able to defeat me in a race," Sesshomaru spat.

"That doesn't explain why you are following me," Kagome said.

"You are different from other inferior humans. You run with the speed of demons, which is impossible for a human," Sesshomaru said, clearly annoyed.

"You're not answering my question," Kagome sighed irritably.

"You left the meeting, which makes me curious as to why you would leave so abruptly," Sesshomaru said.

"It is for me to know, and for you not to find out, are demons always so nosy and talkative?" Kagome snapped.

"It depends on who you refer to," Sesshomaru smirked.

"Whatever," Kagome said, walking away. She made sure to hide her scent and aura, so Sesshomaru wouldn't be able to track her.

At School 

Kagome quickly jumped into her car, and sped off. She was NOT going to be late, on her first day of school. Even though the track training had started before the season, it did not mean that school had started. Kagome parked her car, and ran to her first class, and sat down at the back.

"Class, there are new students to the school this year. Please welcome Sesshomaru and Inuyasha Takashi," Mr. Nobutomo said.

The class half-heartedly applauded, the girls swooned, and Kagome quietly snorted to herself.

"Sesshomaru, you will sit next to Kagome Higurashi. Inuyasha you will sit in front of her," Mr. Nobutomo directed.

Kagome raised her hand to signify her spot. The Takashi brothers sat in their designated places, and class began.

Much to Kagome's dismay, she had every single class with Sesshomaru. It was P.E., and Kagome groaned. Surely, if she knew inuyoukai well enough, his pride will drive him to get a rematch, to regain his honor.

"Class, we will be doing some sparring today. First, we will have a start-off and see who is the best at this, and will be helping me assist others in this unit," Coach Kikuchi said.

"Boys and girls go to the locker rooms and change to your outfits and make sure that u wear the mask at all times, so no one will be able to tell who you are," he instructed.

Kagome walked to the Girl's Locker Rooms, and quickly changed. She didn't worry much about how her hair would look after she took off her mask.

She walked out and waited for the next set of instructions.

Coach Kikuchi was waiting for everyone to come out, and told everyone to partner up. It would be a mini sparring tournament. The losers would go wait at the bench, and unmask.

One by one, the class went. Until there were only two left. Kagome had covered her scent and aura so Sesshomaru couldn't find out where she was. Apparently, they were the last people 'alive'.

"Remember, it's best out of three," Mr. Kikuchi started. "Ready? Begin."

Kagome noticed that Sesshomaru was waiting for Kagome to make the first move; she wasn't planning on falling into his plan. She was no one's puppet.

His opponent was quite irritating. Sesshomaru sighed, he had wanted to play with his opponent before defeating him, but oh well. Sesshomaru lunged at his opponent, but was shocked when it was blocked.

Kagome smirked. It was so easy faking her abilities. She reveled at Sesshomaru's shock, but she recovered quickly and caught Sesshomaru once again, by surprise. Kagome swung her sword to Sesshomaru's neck. H e didn't block it. She had one point.

Sesshomaru was astonished beyond any point. How could a human easily best him at his forte? He guessed that it was that girl, but he wasn't sure. Sesshomaru was determined not to let this human best him again. But he was to be disappointed. His mysterious opponent always found a way to either evade or block his attack. They would also find a way to counter, and sometimes he would be able to block it as well, but others, he'd have to dodge the blows.

"Wonderful job, class. Will the winner unmask please?" Mr. Kikuchi asked.

The winner unmasked, and there stood Kagome, eyes gleaming. Sesshomaru's eyes widened, but he calmed down as he unmasked as well. The class cheered and applauded.

Sesshomaru's head hung in defeat. His pride was heavily damaged. Not only was he defeated, but he loss to a human, no a human _wench_.

"Good match Sesshomaru," Kagome bowed to him. He knew she was rubbing it in his face.

Sesshomaru just walked away, as class ended. "How rude," one girl said. "But he's so hot," another girl said.

After School 

Kagome noticed that she was being followed again. When she read the aura, Kagome realized it was Sesshomaru. She stopped abruptly.

"What do you want, Sesshomaru?" Kagome asked coldly.

"Why do you walk so far from school? Clearly, you are out of district," Sesshomaru replied.

"It's none of your business. Besides, I have been excused for my own purposes," Kagome started walked away.

"Wench, do not walk away from me." Sesshomaru demanded.

Kagome stopped again. "You have no control over me, Sesshomaru. You can not tell me what to do. You do NOT own me." Kagome turned around.

Kagome walked up to Sesshomaru and stared up at him.

"LEAVE ME ALONE! Stop following me! Just, stay AWAY from me" Kagome pushed him, and ran.

A/n: so how was that? Hoped ya'll liked it. Until next time. Please review!


	4. Don't Say You Love Me

A/n: it kind of sucked when no one reviewed last chapter, but that's okay. I'll update just because I am.

What Once Was

Chapter 3: Don't Say You Love Me

Got introduced to you by a friend  
You were cute and all that, baby you set the trend  
Yes you did oh  
The next thing I know we're down at the cinema  
We're sitting there, you said you love me  
What's that about?

She wouldn't ignore the fact, that a pestering inuyoukai wasn't exactly her idea of a typical stalker. It was so strange and pathetic at the same time. It was almost funny. And she couldn't help the ache she felt every time she saw him. Her heart writhed with pain. Regret. Hopelessness. Longing. But she couldn't think about things like that, there were other things she had to worry about. Kagome sighed and closed her locker after changing to get ready for track training.

"Hey Kagome!" someone called. She didn't even turn around, just kept walking. Really, Inuyasha took take a hint. He caught up to her eventually.

"Hey, Kagome. I still can't believe that you kicked Sesshomaru's ass during the summer!" he complimented. "And trust me, he doesn't take defeat easily.

"So I've heard," was the cold reply.

"God, what's wrong with you Kagome?" Inuyasha asked. "You have to stop being so far away from people. I'm telling you, it's for the best."

"Save it for someone who cares Inuyasha. I don't need your pep talks. I don't need YOU to tell how to live my life," Kagome whirled around and shot him an icy glare and walked away.

"Sheesh," Inuyasha slumped his shoulders in defeat. He tried to get more of a conversation out of Kagome, but it seemed it was impossible.

Kagome swiftly ran the warm-up and stretched. While waiting for the hurdles to be set up, she sat under the shade of a tree and leaned her back against it. Kagome didn't even bother acknowledging Sesshomaru who joined her.

"The tree will look nicer in spring when the blossoms are in bloom," he commented.

"Is that why you're here? To talk about nature?" Kagome inquired.

"I'm sure you've heard this from Inuyasha already, but you seriously need to let go of whatever is holding you back," Sesshomaru said. "You need to let other people help you."

"Look who's talking," Kagome snorted.

"I'm telling you what is best for you."

Kagome stood up now and glared at him. "What are you, my father? What do you know about letting go? How about letting go with the hate you bottle up inside you?"

Kagome stomped off, and went to practice her hurdling. She sprinted toward the first hurdle, and shot up her right leg first before swinging her bent left leg over the hurdle. Kagome did the same with the second hurdle only changing legs. It took about 9 seconds to finish the length. She was angry. How could she be so out of shape? Usually, she was faster. Kagome decided that track wasn't helping with her mood, so she packed up and left to go practice archery at the shrine.

You're moving too fast, I don't understand you   
I'm not ready yet, baby I can't pretend  
No I can't  
The best I can do is tell you to talk to me  
It's possible, eventual   
Love will find a way  
Love will find a way...

Halfway up the steps leading to the shrine, Kagome stopped.

"What is it about me that makes you want to follow me?" Kagome sounded exasperated. " I give up. I don't know what to think anymore." She threw her hands up into the air.

"Kagome, you don't remember me? Because it hurts having you treat me like this," a voice said, void of its usual coldness.

"Sesshomaru…" Kagome started.

She turned around and saw Sesshomaru right in front of her. He held her hands in his. (No it's not supposed to sound very Miroku, okay?) Sesshomaru's honey-colored eyes looked so sad.

"Kagome, I love you. Ever since you left, my heart broke. When I saw you again I couldn't believe that it was you. I was hopeful, but when you treated me coldly…. it turned out differently," Sesshomaru looked away.

"Sesshomaru, this isn't like you. You're not the same anymore. I'M not the same anymore. Can't you just accept this fact? Sesshomaru, don't say you love me. You don't even know me! How can you tell me this? You weren't there my whole life. So, you can't say anything about my attitude." Kagome looked at him, her eyes softened. "Just go, okay? You don't want to get close to me. Trust me on this. Just go."

Don't say you love me  
You don't even know me   
If you really want me  
Then give me some time  
Don't go there baby  
Not before I'm ready  
Don't say your heart's in a hurry  
It's not like we're gonna get married  
Give me, give me some time

Kagome retracted her hands from Sesshomaru's hold and walked the remaining steps to the shrine…alone. And left a broken Sesshomaru at the steps.

(Kagome's POV)

The rest of the week was awkward. There was tension between Sesshomaru and me, but there's nothing I can do HE was the one that brought up the subject of love. All I know is that love can bring nothing but pain and despair. Love brings the end of most happiness; I learned that the hard way. It's sad I guess turning from a once innocent cheerful girl into the person I am today. Total opposites. But no one would understand, I'm doing it for his or her own good. Yes, the supposed cold heartless bitch cares. But they wouldn't understand, no one will. And I'll keep living my life this way, because no one understands and no one cares.

Here's how I play, here's where you stand  
Here's what to prove to get any further than where it's been  
I'll make it clear, not gonna tell you twice  
Take it slow, you keep pushing me  
You're pushing me away  
Pushing me away...

Don't say you love me  
You don't even know me  
If you really want me   
Then give me some time  
Don't go there baby  
Not before I'm ready  
Don't say your heart's in a hurry  
It's not like we're gonna get married  
Give me, give me some time

A/n: okay that was a really really short chapter, and I'll try to make it up to you guys next chapter. The song is Don't Say You Love Me by M2M (old group) and I just thought it works really well with the chapter. So if you haven't guessed already. I've decided the pairing will be Sess/Kag despite the votes. The pairing just fits if you know what I mean. I am aware of the OOC parts, and trust me things will go back to normal….after a little while. Now don't just sit there, PLEASE REVIEW!


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